Updated: Sep 9, 2019
I think a lot, I think about every possible thing you could imagine.
My brain is flooded with thoughts. At night, I often couldn't fall asleep because I just keep thinking and thinking. Sometimes, I would get in bed around 11, but I wouldn't be sleeping until 1, so it's two hours of just non-stop thinking. Even though my eyes are closed, my brain is so active, and it's just filled with racing thoughts and ideas.
Yes, sometimes it's overwhelming and annoying, but it can also be a blessing. It's a little bit of both, and I try to keep it a blessing most of the time. I realize that I could achieve this not by forcing myself to stop thinking *it never works* but by thinking about what truly matters.
If whatever you're thinking about doesn't bring you joy, then it's time to stop, take a step back and breath. I try not to think about negative memories or fear because I know that it's so easy to get in a vicious cycle of negativity and self-sabotage. However, of course, negative thoughts still come up every so often. When they do, I have to remind myself to pause, breath and assess whether the thing I'm thinking about is valid or not.
For example, last night, when I was having a call with my boyfriend, he wanted to end the call early because he'd have an early meeting the next morning with his business partner. I immediately felt hurt and the thought "he values his business more than me, I'm not important enough, he doesn't love me that much anymore" instantly came up. It happened so fast, and I had no control over how I felt. However, I took a deep breath, reminded myself that it's just my ego hurting, and these thoughts are not reflective of the truth.
I know that my boyfriend loves me, and the fact that he wanted to end the call early didn't have any indication that he doesn't like talking to me. He just HAD to do that, because he has an important commitment the next morning. And as a girlfriend, I should be supportive and respectful of other parts of his life, not only because I would expect the same thing from him but also because I know he would do the same thing for me without complaining or taking it personally.
With that in mind, I immediately felt calmer, and we ended the call peacefully and happily. This is just one example, things that trigger you might be very different from my story, but you can still apply the same strategy to stop disturbing thoughts when they arise. Do it immediately the second you catch yourself in the train of negative thoughts, that's when it's most effective.
Remember: when a dark thought crosses your mind, don't fret, it's normal. Take a step back, breath deeply, and assess whether the idea is genuinely valid, or it's just a product of your overthinking. You will feel much calmer and more rational and realize that you are the one who's in control of your thoughts, not the other way around.
It's like a muscle, the more you train it to turn away from negative thoughts, the more energy you have to focus on positive ones; and as you practice it regularly, that mind muscle becomes stronger and stronger after each and every day.
"Think about every good thing in your life right now. Free yourself of worrying. Let go of the anxiety, breathe. Stay positive, all is well." - Germany Kent.